THE SHINING PREQUEL FIRST IMAGE


HOLLYWOOD – Mark Romanek confirmed the new prequel to The Shining will be called Delbert Grady and will tell the story of Jack Torrance’s immediate predecessor at the Overlook Hotel.
The man who had the good sense not only to make Never Let Me Go but also not to make The Wolfman and spoke exclusively with the Studio Exec, ‘because you are the only guys who dare to print the truth.’

I have been wanting to make this film for a long time and we had a lot of different scripts. First we were going to look a Dick Halloran, then we were going to look at Lloyd the bar tender. We even had the idea about it being about the building of the hotel. What a stupid idea that would have been!? But once we realised Dilbert was the heart of the film we knew we had cracked.

Dilbert Grady will be released in 2016. 

SHIA: THE MOVIE

Daniel day Lewis as Lincoln


HOLLYWOOD – Lincoln star, Daniel Day-Lewis is in the midst of intensive preparation for his next role, playing the actor Shia LaBeouf in David Lynch’s long-awaited epic bio-pic Shia.
‘I have been entering the character backwards,’ said one of the most accomplished actors of his generation. ‘Slowly I’ve been forgetting how to act, I’ve denuded myself of charisma, I am becoming a blank canvas.’

On which to paint your character?

No just a blank canvas. That’ll probably be it.

The film began initially as a dream project of Martin Scorsese but he got cold feet around the time that Transformers 3 came out. ‘How can I compete with that?’ he was heard to shriek as he ran from the theatre. Ron Howard then came aboard and that was when Day-Lewis also found himself interested in the role (for more on that story CLICK HERE).

Daniel Day Lewis transformed

At first I was very nervous. I’ve played great Americans before. Abraham Lincoln, Bill the Butcher, Daniel Plainview. But could I bring myself to play the greatest American currently alive, after Adam Sandler? I don’t know. But I’m going to try. 

Howard himself was to back out, awed by the enormity of the task and now the project’s current director David Lynch is ready to begin shooting. For Lynch – whose fame today resides mainly on the rumour he once ate a squirrel – Shia will be his final film.

What I say quite seriously in my quiet little voice is that after Shia what else will I have to say? What else will anyone have to say?

Shia LaBeouf is currently not acting in a Broadway play because it was ‘difficult’.

Shia will be released in 2015.

MARK RUFFALO TO PLAY COLUMBO

HOLLYWOOD – Following a sustained and prolonged 24 hour Twitter campaign, Mark Ruffalo ceded to the will of the people and declared he would be playing Columbo in an upcoming movie, possibly scripted and directed by the Coen Brothers.
Mr. Ruffalo initially was caught off guard by the suggestion made in a tweet by Gary Whitta, a screenwriter famous for Book of Eli. Ruffalo said he had to finish another remake of Woman Under the Influence, in which he will also take on the Peter Falk role. This will be part of Ruffalo’s extended preparation process which saw him play Edward Norton off Broadway before essaying the Hulk in The Avengers.

Columbo will be released whenever Twitter wants.

WONDER WOMAN TO BE FEMALE

wonder woman



HOLLYWOOD – The internet exploded today with righteous anger and solemn fury, following the revelation that the new Wonder Woman would be female.
A DC Comics spokesperson told Studio Exec anonymously:

I don’t think that there should really be any controversy about this. In the comic books Wonder Woman is … well … a woman. And in previous incarnations she’s been a woman and in the new film she’ll be a woman. Even in the name Wonder Woman, one of the words is actually if you read it carefully ‘woman’.

However, such sophistry did not placate an internet already tumescent with bilious peek after the recent bombshell that Thor would be a woman in a forthcoming adventure. 

@Geeknutbag27 wrote:

Wonder Woman a woman?! PC BS. Next they’ll say Superman vs Batman gonna be totes gay! #LifeDestroyed

 @JonahHill wrote:

I’m sorry for even thinking that Wonder Woman was not a good idea, even if I thought it for a millisecond it was deeply wrong. #Sorry

@Marvel wrote:

Wonder Woman? Erm. Okay.

Wonder Woman will be released in 2015. 

 

BANJO REVIEW: THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE

The world’s premier primate movie critic, Banjo classic review of The Devil’s Advocate.




Weird Al Pacino play blind man who want to spend time rubbing his jumbo on ladies. He always getting in trouble for rubbing his jumbo so he get his son called Constantine to be a lawyer and get him out of troubles. Constantine have mental problems and see dead people. 

Gabriel Byrne plays Kaiser Soze which he play in Arnold muscle-man film called At The End of the Days but he play it again in this film and he hire Constantine to go and find a ‘Pelican’s Briefcase’(?)

Constantine’s sister played by Charlie Theremin has a Pelican’s Briefcase and when he go to her house to find it he has hump hump with her and Weird Al Pacino watches them and does a dance even though he is supposed to be a blind man. They all have a hump hump and then Kaiser Soze is in bed too and he is Constantine’s brother too and Weird Al is laughing and laughing and then he get a gun and shoot them all. 


At the end Weird Al look right at the camera and a voice ask him, ‘what your act called?’ And he say ‘The Advocates’ and he wink.

Banjo pretty sure this film a piece of shit.

RICHARD LINKLATER SIGNS UP FOR MANHOOD


HOLLYWOOD – Following the commercially and critically successful release of his movie Boyhood, writer director Richard Linklater has confirmed that he is already working on the sequel, provisionally titled Manhood.
The School of Rock director told Studio Exec exclusively:

Of course we needed to see how the first movie performed. After all it took us twelve years to produce and we wanted to know we had an audience before proceeding with the follow up story.

 Employing many of the same actors, Manhood will follow Mason (Ellar Coltrane) as he progresses from young adulthood all the way through to old age. Although not a shot of the film has yet been made, The New Yorker has already hailed it as ‘the most original film yet to be made’.

Manhood will be released in 2044.

OBAMA RESPONDS TO JON VOIGHT



HOLLYWOOD – President Barack Obama has responded to Oscar winning actor Jon Voight who attacked him earlier this week on Fox News show Huckabee. Voight read a statement criticizing the President on Iraq, Benghazi and immigration, as well as tearing up about the next generation and bringing back America. 

The White House issued the following statement on behalf of the President:

I respect Mr. Jon Voight for his wonderful performances in Deliverance and Midnight Cowboy, and I absolutely defend his right to express his criticism of my administration. However, let me say this. I have also seen Ray Donovan and that I didn’t like so much. I’m not a TV critic but it seemed to me sub-par. Now Mr. Voight brought up some very important questions about our relationship with Israel, but I have to say his appearance on Lara Croft, Mission Impossible, Transformers and Pearl Harbor have all been one note and frankly forgettable. So yes Jon, let’s open a dialogue about immigration, but let’s also remember that you voiced one of the main characters of Bratz: the Movie and that, my friend, is what history will remember.

 Jon Voight was unavailable for comment.

GEORGE LUCAS TO DIRECT ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK: THE MOVIE




HOLLYWOOD – Director and action figure salesman George Lucas has signed on to direct a movie version of the popular Netflix prison drama Orange is the New Black.

“I’ve been looking for a change of direction and I figured a drama set in a female prison was as far away from ‘that franchise’ as I could possibly go,” said a serious Lucas.

I know the critics think I’m a one trick pony and I didn’t used to mind but the older I got, the more I’ve realised that I got caught up in the whole science fiction/fantasy adventure genre. I followed the money when I should have stayed true to myself but from now on, you’re going to see a new George Lucas. 

Asked how the movie version of OITNB will fit in with series, Lucas revealed he intends to make subtle changes: 

The movie will be set in Litchfield prison but the prison will be more of a penal colony on an outlying moon of a distant planet in a galaxy far, far away.  The characters, essentially, will remain the same but in my version Alex Vause is half human/half sex cyborg. Crazy Eyes is a four-headed reptilian creature with eight ‘Crazy Eyes’ and Red is a giant talking chicken.

Asked who the main villain of the piece will be, Lucas assured fans they wouldn’t be disappointed:

Of course it’s Pornstache. We couldn’t really improve on that character but we thought giving him a racist robot sidekick would open up the potential for more comedic moments. We’ve got Gilbert Gottfried in to voice him and he’s had us in stiches. He tells one joke about two Rastafarian lesbians at a fancy dress party. Man, I nearly shit my pants. 

Orange is the New Black: The Movie is due for release in 2015.

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