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INTERVIEW WITH A PLAGIARIST: LIANNE SPIDERBABY





Good Morning. How are you enjoying Hollywood?

A day in Hollywood is like a day on the farm. Every meal is a banquet, every pay-check a fortune.

Indeed. So you're currently dating Quentin Tarantino. How did you guys meet?

I met him at the Candy store. He turned around and smiled at me. You get the picture?

I think so. Are you an admirer of his work?

He's simply the best. Better than all the rest. Better than anyone. Anyone I've ever met.

You seem very much in love. What does love mean to you?

Love means never having to say you're sorry.

Moving on. What attracted you to the movie industry. Who are your influences?

Greta Garbo and Monroe
Deitrich and DiMaggio
Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean
On the cover of a magazine
Grace Kelly, Harlow Jean,
Picture of a beauty queen
Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire,
Ginger Rodgers dance on air
They had style, they had grace
Rita Hayworth gave good face
Lauren, Katherine, Lana too
Better Davis we love you

Madonna lyrics. Very funny.

Funny how. Like I'm a clown. I amuse you. I make you laugh?

No. It was just funny how you used the quote.

What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?

I'm sorry I think you've misunderstood me.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Okay. Let's change the subject. You've recently been accused of plagiarism. What were your immediate thoughts when you heard the allegation?

Houston. We have a problem.

And now?

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn

Many on-line writers have condemned your actions but you've also had some support.

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Excuse me but so far in this interview you've just been quoting film scripts and song lyrics. Do you have any original thoughts of your own?

I....I'm just as God made me Sir.

You just did it again that was from This is Spinal Tap.

Well. Nobody's perfect.

And that was Some like it Hot. Why don't you speak your own mind. Tell the truth?

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Oh screw it. This interview is terminated

Nobody puts Spider baby in the corner.

Will you please leave, you nauseating woman.

I'll be back.





4 comments:

  1. Wow, you've really raised the bar on 'journalism.'

    ReplyDelete
  2. Absolutely sidesplitting!

    ReplyDelete
  3. At the two last anonymous comment, get a clue and learn to read and search.

    From the about us page: "The Studio Exec is a satirical website which publishes spoof articles except for the ones which are real."

    Are you the same type of dumb people who take everything writen in The Onion as the gospel of god?

    ReplyDelete

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