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SHARON STONE'S VAGINA IS REMASTERED BY THE BFI















LONDON – Next year's Sharon Stone retrospective at the BFI has run into controversy after the institute's director, Amanda Nevill, claimed that the infamous flash of Stone's vagina in Basic Instinct has been altered at the request of Miss Stone herself.

"Sharon has always claimed she was tricked into exposing herself by the director,"  said a revealing Nevill. 
Though she fully appreciates it had a significant effect on her career and she has nothing against cinematic nudity per say, she feels the scene was not an accurate representation of her vagina and by utilizing modern technology, it is possible to digitally enhance the original and revolutionise the gratuitous crotch shot as a whole.
Nevill went on to say that the BFI and Stone have been working with James Cameron in a bid to create the ultimate upskirt experience.
James took hours of footage of Sharon's vagina from a multitude of angles using his 3D camera. So now when she uncrosses her legs during the infamous interrogation scene the audience will be taken on a swooping three dimensional journey up her skirt and across the surface of her vagina. After several laps of her labia majoria the camera rushes up her vaginal entrance, past her cervix and eventually comes to rest in her uterus. It's a stunning scene but you cannot appreciate its grandeur until you've seen it with your own eyes. Though it is a bit like the end of Star Wars when the X-Wings are attempting to destroy the Death Star.
We asked James Cameron about his work on the film and he revealed that he was so pleased with the outcome that himself and Stone are planning to develop a Theme Park ride based on the footage.
We're currently working on a deal to have Basic Instinct: The Interactive Ride installed at Universal Studios. Almost everything is in place but Michael Douglas is uncomfortable with me sticking a camera up his asshole. We've tried it once and he was just not into it but next time I figure I'll get him drunk first and see what happens.

The remastered version of Basic Instinct will be shown at the BFI in spring 2014   

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